Tag: pandemic

Random Thoughts

Sometimes when I think about my life, I’m truly astounded at what I’ve experienced and survived. I say this as someone who hasn’t had to live through war at home and extreme poverty or other such events, so I say this from the perspective of someone who realizes it could have been a lot worse.

I’ve lived. I’ve traveled, I’ve connected, I’ve loved, I’ve lost, I’ve moved on, I’ve regretted, I’ve created, I’ve destroyed, I’ve learned, I’ve staggered, I’ve succeeded, I’ve failed, I’ve wallowed, I’ve reemerged, I’ve run and hid, I’ve faced my fears, and I continue to face forward while considering all of this at my back.

 

Anyone who has survived the last two years knows that it was often hard to maintain sanity and even when you could, there was a cost: I didn’t do what some of my friends did, which is blatantly cut ties on social media with people who had certain views and attitudes. I do not criticize my friends for doing this, however. It was how they coped with a changing sociopolitical landscape. I opted to “unfollow” people if I had known them for a time but found their posting to be “unappetizing.”

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digitized pencil sketch by Leann Moore

There was one exception. It was on Instagram, and this
person had been at a distance for some time and growing ever more detached from what I considered reality. I do care about this person, but in the early days of the pandemic he posted a video on his account calling people wearing masks “sheep” and just being belligerent about it in general. And the reason I unfollowed was not because I disagreed with his “point of view” or anything; it was because the way he was speaking about people wearing masks (who were just trying to protect themselves from an airborne pathogen that we didn’t know that much about), his tone, his vocabulary, all indicated malice, judgement, and disdain. I have little tolerance for a heart filled with hate.

That was early 2020, and he just recently texted me out of the blue in early 2022. 

“Being OK” during a Pandemic

The quarantine has been difficult for most of us…financially, emotionally, psychologically… And it’s easy to lose hope when we literally have no idea how much longer it will go on. I often feel completely disoriented to what my life was before and I’m worried that going back “to normal” is going to be a painful process. In between bouts of total apathy and something akin to self motivation, I feel sad, lonely, hopeless, worthless, etc. I don’t think that’s uncommon, even during normal times. But even through all the negativity and hardship, I still manage to stay afloat and find pleasure in a few things. And dare I say it–have faith that things will be OK.

Image by Anja from Pixabay
Image by Anja from Pixabay


When I say “Be OK,” I mean it in a purely objective way–In the sense that balance will eventually be restored in the world. And even if I suffer hardship, or things don’t go the way I want, I have to believe that I can adapt to survive and still find some joy in the world. Call me overly optimistic, but it’s the only way I can keep my head and anxiety in check. It’s like, if I didn’t have faith in my future being OK somehow, there wouldn’t be much point to enduring the hardships and suffering of the present.


What I also mean by “Being OK” is related to the Buddhist idea that if you can do something about a problem, then do it, and no need to worry. If there is nothing you can do, then do that, and no need to worry either. The idea is to remain in the present moment instead of stressing out about things that may or may not happen, or things that you literally have no control over, because these kinds of minds only lead to suffering.


My worldview is generally pretty positive, in spite of everything. When I created Sowing Crafty Seeds as my brand name for creative projects, I specifically wanted something that evoked ideas of love, positivity, and community/connectivity.  But like me, it also needed to be down to earth.

Image by ArtTower from Pixabay
Image by ArtTower from Pixabay


The first stamped cards I made (that were any good, in any case) had flowers and butterflies on them. At the time, I think I was inspired by historic botanical illustration, much of which was done by women. Something about the whole thing clicked and I continued in the direction of what I like to call “vintage garden.” Anyone who knows me should understand how outside the norm that was for me, a former punk goth chick who still wears mostly black to this day. It’s what I feel most comfortable in on the outside. But on the inside, apparently, I resemble a Victorian English garden during tea time.


The garden theme lent itself to the notion that I was growing my creativity to share it with others, to spread joy and express a part of myself that can’t easily be put into words. Eventually, I started to envision my creative ideas as seeds and each finished project as the resulting flowers. 

Thank you for reading. It’ll be OK.

-Leann