“Being OK” during a Pandemic

The quarantine has been difficult for most of us…financially, emotionally, psychologically… And it’s easy to lose hope when we literally have no idea how much longer it will go on. I often feel completely disoriented to what my life was before and I’m worried that going back “to normal” is going to be a painful process. In between bouts of total apathy and something akin to self motivation, I feel sad, lonely, hopeless, worthless, etc. I don’t think that’s uncommon, even during normal times. But even through all the negativity and hardship, I still manage to stay afloat and find pleasure in a few things. And dare I say it–have faith that things will be OK.

When I say “Be OK,” I mean it in a purely objective way–In the sense that balance will eventually be restored in the world. And even if I suffer hardship, or things don’t go the way I want, I have to believe that I can adapt to survive and still find some joy in the world. Call me overly optimistic, but it’s the only way I can keep my head and anxiety in check. It’s like, if I didn’t have faith in my future being OK somehow, there wouldn’t be much point to enduring the hardships and suffering of the present.

What I also mean by “Being OK” is related to the Buddhist idea that if you can do something about a problem, then do it, and no need to worry. If there is nothing you can do, then do that, and no need to worry either. The idea is to remain in the present moment instead of stressing out about things that may or may not happen, or things that you literally have no control over, because these kinds of minds only lead to suffering.

My worldview is generally pretty positive, in spite of everything. When I created Sowing Crafty Seeds as my brand name for creative projects, I specifically wanted something that evoked ideas of love, positivity, and community/connectivity.  But like me, it also needed to be down to earth.

The first stamped cards I made (that were any good, in any case) had flowers and butterflies on them. At the time, I think I was inspired by historic botanical illustration, much of which was done by women. Something about the whole thing clicked and I continued in the direction of what I like to call “vintage garden.” Anyone who knows me should understand how outside the norm that was for me, a former punk goth chick who still wears mostly black to this day. It’s what I feel most comfortable in on the outside. But on the inside, apparently, I resemble a Victorian English garden during tea time.

The garden theme lent itself to the notion that I was growing my creativity to share it with others, to spread joy and express a part of myself that can’t easily be put into words. Eventually, I started to envision my creative ideas as seeds and each finished project as the resulting flowers. 

Thank you for reading. It’ll be OK.

-Leann